Posted 02/23/2009 - 01:06:52pm by Barbara Babkirk in Life Planning Network
In the first half of life, you ask the question “Who should I be?” and look to parents, teachers, and society for the answer and for directives on how to achieve it.
You spend over three decades scanning your external world for clues about the appropriate steps that would support your mission to be on the right course. In the process, you develop competencies and skills, as well as a keener sense of how to present yourself in the world beyond your immediate family.
You may have a sense of achievement and realized success from this effort to be all you can be - even if it may be according to someone else’s expectation of you. Just when your life seems to be working well, and according to plan, along comes the second half of life to dash your glib sense of comfort with your achievements and yourself.
This drop in satisfaction with what seemed to be a good life may have happened overnight, or perhaps it was a more gradual, but steady decline. In any case, a growing awareness of the passing of time and an increased sense of your own mortality contribute to a shift in perspective on your life and an increased interest in your life’s purpose.
The definitive question of the first half of life positioned you to explore an array of external directives. A new and compelling question emerges in life’s second half and challenges you to look inwardly this time for the answer.
“Who am I meant to be”? surfaces without explicit expectations or a clearly defined path. Rather, the question invites you to listen to your inner wisdom for clues to your calling.
In my own career and vocation work with individuals, I’ve noticed certain characteristics that accompany a call. I hope they may help you recognize an opportunity in the making.
Characteristics of the Experience of Call
• You sense a stirring, a pull to do something new or different.
• The pull becomes challenging as it counters advice and puts at risk approval from others.
• In spite of risks, you experience an inner knowing of right action aligned with your truth, integrity and values.
• You feel intense fear juxtaposed with compelling excitement.
• To move forward, you must release the familiar or practical options to the promise of the unfamiliar.
• A keen awareness of time passing prompts a readiness or even an urgency to act.
• You develop connections with people and with a Source greater than yourself, offering a larger context from which to view your process.
• You experience a “test” following your initial action; this occurrence represents personal doubt or fear or reinforces the “status quo”. But it is only short-lived as you proceed toward what you know you must do.
Barbara Babkirk, LCPC, is a member of LPN New England. She is the owner of Heart At Work, located in Portland, Maine and offers career and vocational counseling in person and by phone to people in the second half of life. She is a frequent speaker on work-related topics and writes a blog for mainejobs.mainetoday.com. For more info go to: www.heartatwork.biz
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The PEPC Challenge...
I love the message in Barbara's article on Calling and I think the list of Characteristics is very helpful. BUT...
For me and many people I know, the term "calling" and others like it (such as "purpose" and "passion") are problematic. They sound high-minded, spiritually linked and a bit out of reach. That's probably the result of overuse as well as attachment to extreme examples, like the person who awakens from a deep sleep to the blinding certainty of a call to do this or that. That's not been my experience and I hope it never is!
Dave Corbett, founder of New Directions, uses an acronym - PEPC - that stands for Purpose, Energy, Passion and Calling. His point is two-fold: 1) the acronym itself removes whatever stigma is associated with use of the terms it represents, and 2) there are many ways to refer to this concept and each connects with different people in different ways.
I like to avoid these terms altogether whenever possible by talking about the experience of unease, dissatisfaction or seeking that moves people to look beyond their current involvements on the one hand, and the sense of validation or engagement they feel when those inner needs are being met on the other. And Barbara's list of Characteristics is perfect for helping people recognize and place themselves on both sides of that challenge...
A Call Can Be Spiritual
Thanks for your comments to my blog, Doug. In fact, I actually do believe a calling has a spiritual (as opposed to religious) aspect to it. To me, a call is akin to a vocation and different from finding work that suits you. With a call, there are different, perhaps more personally challenging aspects to it as I mentioned at the end of the blog--and the pull comes more from an inner sense of rightness than an outer invitation.
Great thoughts on responding to a call!
I loved your thoughts on responding to a call. I believe I am in the midst of that, as I am experiencing a career shift in my middle age. Every person needs to have a mission in life if they are live life to the fullest. As Rick Warren describes it, the best life is "the purpose driven life." Otherwise, one is just "tossed back and forth by the waves" (Ephesians 4:14).
Stay in touch!
Richard_Ostrand@msn.com
Richard, Thanks for the
Richard,
Thanks for the feedback on my blog. I agree that, especially in midlife and beyond, that's it's important to have a purpose/sense of vocation/mission in life. I hope you find the clarity you need in your transition.
Riding the Waves...
Interesting imagery from the Scriptural reference. In my own case and that of many clients I've worked with, the experience is more like acceding to opportunities as they are presented in the absence of a clear context for decision-making. I never felt buffeted by the waves as much as riding them, getting the most I could from each wave as it came my way. My work was useful and meaningful, but not always satisfying. For me, what's important is that inner dimension of knowing not only that what you're doing has value but also that it's aligned with your sense of who you are and what you have to offer. This implies a certain amount of self-knowledge, but more often than not, work like this has to be found, not conceived. It's through active exploration, trial and error, and experience that we learn what meets that inner need for psychic satisfaction. The best book I've found on this topic is Working Identity by Herminia Ibarra, which I highly recomend.